My Thunder
by AlinaLotus
Summary: But Kakashi wasn't Sasuke. Or rather Sasuke wasn't Kakashi, and that was what mattered, really.


**Just a oneshot. Mostly it is an attempt to break down the damn wall of writer's black I have concerning my WIP fics, so here's to hoping. **

**Warnings are language and sexual situations. It is a bit long, sorry about that.**

_Do you know you're unlike any other?  
You'll always be my thunder, and I said  
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors  
I don't wanna ever love another  
You'll always be my thunder  
So bring on the rain  
And bring on the thunder...  
_

When she was twelve, her world shattered around her because she loved Sasuke, and he chose everything she was wasn't. She was- or a part of her was- scared of him, and not because of how much of herself she'd given him. He was like a chill, Fall breeze on a Summer day, a cloud blocking out the sun, shadows of him splaying across the countryside.

It wasn't until years later that she realized Kakashi was that same sun Sasuke had been covering.

**oooo**

She'd never been scared of him. Awed by him many times over, annoyed even more times, and worried for him every time she wasn't with him, but never in fear of her former sensei. She felt secure when he was near, warm almost. When push had come to shove Sasuke had chosen himself over everyone, over her. She couldn't (despite her great desire to) really ever count on Sasuke to be there for her, even before Orochimaru's invasion. If not for the rest of her team, she would've been dead long ago.

With Kakashi, she'd never feel as safe a when he was with her, and she always knew he had her back, that without question or hesitation he would give his life to save hers.

Sasuke was cold bitterness, selfish revenge and brooding on inhuman levels. He was loss and disappointment, a dull ache under her ribcage.

Kakashi was heat. Soothing and encompassing, easy smiles and the smell of leaves and freshly cut grass on a mild night. He could make her laugh until she cried, smile until her face hurt, and around him, she was comfortable with herself, flaws included.

If she had to describe him in one word, Kakashi was hope.

**oooo**

Their friendship had started out because Sakura had no one else. Ino had tried to fill the void that Sasuke, and then Naruto, left in her life, but she had her own team and training to deal with, and besides she couldn't have understood what Sakura was going through even if she'd wanted to. But Kakashi could, Kakashi did, and it wasn't entirely for Sakura's benefit that their relationship as teacher and student evolved into something more.

Kakashi felt worthwhile, really, being with Sakura, offering her companionship, even when they only had time to grab a quick bowl of ramen at Ichiraku or a mug of tea in the lounge of the hospital on Sakura's few breaks. Admittedly, at first, he'd seek Sakura out because he felt guilty, because there was at the back of his mind always the accusation that he was, in some ways, to blame for Sasuke defecting. The ultimate decision, of course, rested on nobody's shoulders but Sasuke's, but perhaps if he'd been more like Gai and made his students as his own children...

Kakashi shuddered at the idea of his team clad in green jumpsuits. Unbidden, Sakura's genin self transformed before his eyes, flash forwarding five years to her present, seventeen year old chunnin self, the green spandex taut over the swell of her breasts, the curve of her hips; the suit pulled tight up long legs that were spread wide at her knees...

_Hold it right there cowboy,_ he thought, stopping the fantasy before it went any farther. The last thing he needed before meeting up with Sakura was a hard-on caused by explicit images of said student._ Former_ _student_, Kakashi corrected himself, as if that small fact made it okay to think about Sakura in such a way.

It wasn't wrong, necessarily, because Sakura was of age and no longer under his instruction, but he respected her, not only as a kunoichi and colleague, but as a friend, and a close one at that. It was surprising to most people that Kakashi did indeed have close friends. They were few, sure, but he had them. Yamato, Genma, Kurenai, and Asuma were all included in this circle, and though he'd known them all longer, he could honestly say that his relationship with Sakura was the most intimate.

_Bad train of thought. _Especially since Sakura was waiting for him just around the corner, leaning against a lamp post. Wearing her skirt with the slit up both thighs, for easier movement (or so she claimed) and black boots to her knees.

Especially since he'd been having dreams (the kind of dreams that often required a trip to the laundromat, on behalf of his sheets), about her for weeks now.

And especially since she looked up at him, her lips pulled into a smile, like he was the center of the whole world. Or hers, at least.

The worst (and best) part was, Kakashi couldn't stop himself from smiling back.

**oooo**

"Well?" Sakura's face was hopeful, and he couldn't help but be reminded of her, years ago when she was his new student, and she'd accomplish something and she'd be desperately looking for approval, her face beaming and anxious. "What do you think?"

Kakashi lifted the teacup to his bare lips again, and for a brief moment he wondered when, exactly, Sakura had worked her way into his life so much that he felt little to no discomfort at being unmasked in front of her. Maybe it was because she knew the reason as to why he always wore masks in the first place; that he couldn't stand to see his father looking back at him in the mirror, a reflection of weakness and failure and regret...sure, it had been bothersome when people told him even in these days, how much he resembled Sakumo, but what other people thought had never really mattered to him before and it wouldn't start now.

No, the one person Kakashi didn't want to face was himself.

"Sensei?"

Kakashi blinked, his gaze drifting back to his teacup. Tsunade, bothered by Sakura's tendency to overwork herself past the point of exhaustion, had urged her apprentice (well, forced or demanded was a more appropriate word; it was, after all, the Hokage and though she seemed nicer toward Sakura than anybody else, Tsunade was still Tsunade) into a hobby.

Of course, Kakashi mused, Tsunade had probably imagined something like cooking or maybe something relaxing like yoga or hanging out at an onsen. Instead, Sakura had decided to make her own tea mixtures. There was something creative about it, she'd claimed, and had spent more money than one ever should on tea leaves to start her collection.

This week's trial was peppermint and jasmine, steeped with a chocolate powder mixture. "It's..." Kakashi gave a feeble smile.

Sakura rolled her eyes, whisking Kakashi's mug away and instead handing him a cold beer. "Ah, now, this is more like it." He said, and his eye locked onto hers as their fingers brushed each other's in the exchange of the bottle.

"Yeah..." Sakura whispered a moment later, when neither of them had moved their hands. "Yeah, it is."

He was sure she was going to kiss him. She'd tilted her head, and almost reflexively, he had too. But then Sakura pulled back like she'd been burned, and she quickly turned away from him, hands now planted flat on the counter top, as though they were bracing her weight, supporting her.

"Saku - " He began, but she shook her head, taking a breath and turning to face him, her usual smile on her lips.

"Just needed a coaster." She said, reaching blindly behind her to the stack of cork coasters she kept by the sink.

"Alright," Kakashi said, his eyebrow raised at her.

"Yeah...just..." Sakura chewed the corner of her bottom lip, her eyes glassy. Kakashi, unsure of what to do, sat there scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "Heh. Just a coaster!" Sakura pronounced cheerfully, and she slid one under Kakashi's beer. "Anyway, sensei, what were we talking about?"

Kami help him, he didn't know how much longer he was going to last, not if she kept touching him the way she did, even if it was in innocent gestures, and not if she kept calling him sensei with the tone of voice that reminded him of dark nights and cool sheets...

_Kami. Help. Him._

**oooo**

"Fucking hell." Asuma swore, slamming down his shot glass as he hurriedly glanced away from the door of the bar. Kakashi looked mildly over his shoulder to said door, inwardly sighing as Ino and Sakura entered, in the lead of the rest of their teams. Sai and Naruto were currently in some debate, and Naruto held up his hands directly in front of Ino's chest, making a squeezing motion.

Sakura rolled her eyes then grabbed the back of Naruto's neck, gruffly pulling him away from Ino and shoving him into the nearest booth. Choji and Shikamaru were guffawing, and Ino smacked them both upside the head, then turned to Sakura, who returned her patronizing glare with a sympathetic one of her own. Sakura held up her hands, as though saying that yes, her boys were idiots too.

"The damn dress. Not the damn dress." Asuma muttered, tapping his shot glass on the bar to signal another drink. He stiffened as, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ino move from the booth and start making her way toward the bar. Kakashi could understand Asuma's discomfort at Ino's clothing; she wore a skin-tight purple dress and matching heels with straps that snaked their way up her legs. Her blonde hair was pulled away from her face, save for a tendril of bang that covered one of her aquamarine eyes. She was beautiful, of course, but Kakashi had always favored natural beauty...somebody like Sakura, for instance, who didn't need makeup or strategic shoes to catch attention. Well, his attention, anyway.

Kakashi shook his head; he was pathetic.

"Oh, Asuma-sensei!" Ino gushed when she saw him. She gave him a one-armed hug, Asuma's jaw was firmly set as Ino's hand lingered on his bicep for longer than Kakashi was sure was necessary.

The bartender set a tall drink in front of Asuma, and Ino grinned as she reached for the cherry floating at the top of the glass. "I love cherries, remember?" She said, and she drug the cherry along her bottom lip, then delicately put it in her mouth, lightly sucking at it. Her eye widened as she pulled it from her mouth, "Oh sorry, sensei, did you want this?"

Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the look on Asuma's face. For a shinobi, he sure was shit at hiding his emotions. He was looking at Ino like a starving man would a roasting chicken. His eyes were trained on Ino's lips, and Kakashi was sure a full scale riot could break out right now Asuma wouldn't notice a damn thing besides his former student and that cherry.

"Drinks are up." The bartender, who obviously was used to Ino and her group of friends coming in, pushed a round of frosty glasses toward Ino.

It was Kakashi's turn to stiffen as Sakura's scent, jasmine with a slight smear of mint, wafted toward him. "I'll help!" She appeared at Ino's elbow. "Oh, hey Kakashi-sensei." She said, throwing him a greeting smile, "Um...well, I guess we'll see you guys later." She said, nudging Ino, who was still dangling Asuma's cherry between her fingers.

"Of course...later. I'll see you later, Asuma-sensei." Ino practically purred, and she dropped the cherry back into Asuma's glass, her shoulder rubbing against his as she turned to follow Sakura back to their table.

**oooo**

"You're such a whore." Sakura admonished, dispersing the drinks. Choji and Sai were discussing some of their latest mission exploits, and Shikamaru and Naruto were arguing over the finer points of shougi. Their conversation would go virtually unnoticed.

Ino sniffed. "Am not. Honestly Sakura, I was just making friendly conversation."

Sakura snorted. "Right. Seriously, the cherry trick? You're pathetic."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Alright alright, I'm pathetic. I swear Sakura, I've been wheedling this man down for almost two years and he hasn't budged. I mean, it's obvious he wants this," Ino gestured to her dress, "but for whatever reason he's holding back."

"Well, I think it's safe to say you definitely got under his skin. You should've seen him when you hugged him!"

Ino giggled, and after a long pull from her drink, Sakura joined in.

"So how's your own wheedling coming? Has Kakashi-sensei caved or is he still pretending to be asexual?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at her best friend. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not. Well if you need some tips...I am, after all, the one who invented the cherry trick."

"Right, if I ever want to come off as desperate and overbearing, you'll be the first one I call." There was a pause as they both lifted their drinks to their mouths.

"Well, look at us..." Ino said somberly, "we're so retarded. In love with our former teachers."

Sakura chanced a glance at Kakashi, whose back was to her. Yes...she was retarded. As usual, when it came to men, Ino had hit the nail on the head.

**oooo**

Asuma clutched his chest. "I think I had a heart attack." he said, eyeing the cherry in his glass as though it were an explosive tag.

"Is she always like that?"

"Don't even get me started. I'm pretty damn sure I've used up all of Konoha's cold water."

Kakashi shuddered. There were some things he didn't need to know.

"How long has this been going on?" Kakashi gestured toward Asuma's drink.

"Two years, give or take. Ever since she turned eighteen. Swear to the Hokages she's going to be the death of me...but you know what I mean." Asuma said with a shrug toward Ino's booth.

"And how would I possibly know what you mean?"

Asuma snorted. "Don't act fucking stupid, Kakashi. I'm not the only having...issues...with a former female student. It's so damn obvious, even Gai has noticed something's up."

This was somewhat startling. If Gai were to try and involve himself...

Kakashi shuddered again.

**oooo**

"I never thought you'd get over Sasuke, Forehead. " Ino said as she and Sakura wandered out of the bar. The boys had left long ago, but Asuma and Kakashi were still rooted to their bar stools when, thoroughly buzzed, Ino and Sakura decided to call it a night. It was mild out, and they'd removed their shoes, carrying them loosely in one hand.

Sakura liked this about Summer, liked the feel of the cool grass between her toes, the texture of the warm asphalt against the pads of her feet.

"Heh...yeah. I was pretty messed up for a while. But I was young. Stupid." There was a lot more to it than that, actually, but the past was the past and she'd moved on, lived more and gained experience. She'd learned to vest herself into better things, into bigger things than Sasuke ever could've dreamt of.

Of course that thing was now a man she couldn't even be around without looking like an idiot. Hadn't this afternoon proved that? She couldn't have tea with him like a normal human being anymore. One small brush of his hand and all she could think about was how much she wanted to kiss him, how much it would mean to her to be held close against his chest. She'd felt stirrings of those feelings with Sasuke, of course, but Kakashi wasn't Sasuke. Or rather Sasuke wasn't Kakashi, and that was what mattered, really.

"Well, at least you're not the young part anymore." Ino said, clumsily dodging Sakura's elbow at her comment.

"Do you think that's it? Why they don't...want us." Sakura asked quietly. "Because of the age differences."

Ino waved her hand dismissively. "I think it's more that they were our teachers. Like they're breaking some kind of rule or something. And besides, it's not that they don't _want_ us. They may be idiots, but they're not blind. They just..." Ino trailed off, shrugging.

"Well it's obvious Asuma-sensei was having a stroke trying to keep his hands off you...seriously Ino, I wish I had that on camera." Sakura laughed, holding up her free hand as though she were dangling the now infamous cherry. "Priceless."

Ino laughed too, pulling her hair out of it's wrap so it came in sheets down her shoulders. "This one time, on a mission, we were on watch. Shika and Cho were out like lights, as always. And we were up in this tree, right? And it was freezing. So we were huddled together, his arm around me. We didn't say anything...just sat there. I had my eyes closed, just feeling the moment, and I think he thought I was asleep. And swear to Kami Sakura, he sniffed my hair!"

Sakura bent over, laughing loudly at this image. "Oh my hell, are you serious? That's hilarious! I mean, serious, bad ass Asuma...nothing but a hormonal little boy!"

"Right?" Ino agreed, grabbing Sakura for support as her own laughter and the alcohol got the better of her for a moment. "But in the end...he acted like he always does." Ino said, a hint of sadness in her voice. And probably a little bit of longing, too. Sakura understood that more than she wanted to.

"Yeah...I know what you mean. The distance."

Ino nodded once in agreement. "The distance. Like I didn't - don't - mean a thing to him. That...that's the hardest part really."

Sakura threaded her arm through Ino's, at the same time hating that she was in the same predicament as her friend, but grateful that she wasn't going through this alone.

**oooo**

"Oh hell." Asuma grunted, as he reached into his pocket to pull out some cash for his bill.

"What now?" Kakashi said in an exasperated voice.

Asuma held up a silver key, shaking his head. "That little _minx_..."

"So that's- "

"Yep. Ino's house key. Ever so conveniently slipped into my pocket when she was here...girl's gettin good, no doubt about that." Asuma repocketed the key, tossing a wad of money on the counter.

"Well, Kakashi, it's been...yeah. I'll be off. Thanks for lending an ear."

"Er...right back atcha. Anyway, who would've thought that you...and that _I_...well, that we'd have something in common like this?"

Asuma shrugged. "True enough. Best of luck." Asuma started to whistle on his way out, and he only turned slightly when Kakashi called after him out on the street.

"Where exactly are you going? Your apartment's the other way, if I recall."

Asuma grinned. "Got a key to return, don't I?" Kakashi shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Kakashi! I'd...I'd uh consider returning your own house key, if you get my drift." Asuma lifted his hand in farewell and disappeared around the corner.

**oooo**

It was a little sad, perhaps, that it had taken a night of drinking with Asuma to strengthen his resolve, but he figured better late than never.

He only hoped Sakura felt the same.

**oooo**

It was no use; tonight would definitely be a sleepless one. She had hoped that the alcohol in her system would calm her, allow her to drift off, but as usual her mind and body were completely at odds with each other. She threw the sheet off her and leaned against the headboard, pulling her knees into her chest.

"Pondering the great mysteries of the universe again?"

Her head shot up at his voice, and her first instinct was to beat him into the wall for being stealthy enough for her not to hear him. That passed, of course, as she drank the sight before her in. He was a picture of perfection, really, silhouetted against the moonlight, his spikes of hair casting deep shadows on her wall.

He silently approached her, removing his shoes and vest as he did so, dropping them onto the floor.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, puzzled, as he slid in next to her.

"Returning your house key." He said, and then he was all around her, his lips on hers and his hands in her hair. It was so fast and Sakura so caught up that even if she had wanted to, she wouldn't have had breath to protest.

"I've waited for so long...so long for this." Sakura murmured, as Kakashi pulled away removed his mask and headband, his Sharingan glowing in the darkness.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, one hand against her cheek.

"You already know the answer, sensei." She said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. He had to know what he meant to her, that he was her desire and the man she'd grown to love, the man who she would forever wait for. "You already know that I love you...that I need you."

"In more ways than one, I hope." Kakashi said, inhaling deeply as he caught the scent of her skin and excitement and desire. She turned onto her stomach, her hand finding his.

"In every way, sensei." She said, giving his fingers a slight squeeze. She knew she'd never spoke truer words in her entire life.

**oooo**

"Oh _fuck_," Sakura breathed, as Kakashi ran his tongue- wet, warm, and caressing- from the small of her back upward a few inches. His lips were soft; so much softer than Sakura had ever imagined they could be. He slowly ran his hand along her ass, gripping her skin and giving an appreciative kiss on her spine.

"You're so beautiful." He said, coming to lay on his side next to her. "So much more than you'll ever know."

"Heh. Never figured you one for sweet talk, sensei." Sakura said, nudging his knee with her foot.

"Never thought I'd ever need it." He replied, absentmindedly toying with a strand of her hair.

"So what changed your mind? About us, I mean." Sakura asked, reaching up to trace his scar from the bottom of his down his cheek.

"Actually," Kakashi chuckled, "Asuma in the shower."

Sakura's jaw dropped a bit, her eyebrow raised incredulously. "Erm..."

"No, no! It's not like _that_. See, Asuma just mentioned that he's been having...well, anyway, he had some good advice. A first for him, definitely."

"Did Asuma happen to mention if he was going to resolve...whatever he's been having?" Sakura asked, unable to contain her curiosity.

"Well now," Kakashi said, leaning in to give Sakura a long, lingering kiss, "he wouldn't be very good at giving advice if he didn't follow his own, now would he?"

**oooo**

The phone blurred, causing Sakura to jerk awake. Next to her, Kakashi grunted in his sleep, and she kissed his temple lightly before taking the phone of its hook and tiptoeing out of the bedroom. Shutting the door softly behind her, she answered the phone, cradling it against her ear and simultaneously switching on the coffee maker.

"What, Ino?" Sakura said, knowing who it was before the caller had even opened their mouth.

"Just phoning in my thanks." Ino said lazily, and Sakura heard the sound of a shower in the background.

"Anytime, Pig. Might want to try that first, next time. Instead of that ridiculous cherry trick."

Ino laughed. "Well, it _did_ work for Temari. Pretty sure Shika blew his load right there at the table when she pulled that one off."

Sakura scrunched her nose. "That's disgusting, Ino. The less I know about Shikamaru's...loads...the better. The better for us all." She said, shaking her head.

"Well, you know, you might want to pass that one along to Suna. Temari's cool and all, but those sand nin definitely lack finesse, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, well, all hail the mighty inventor of the key trick." Sakura said, turning to look out the kitchen window. The morning had dawned bright and cloudless, and Sakura couldn't help but smile. Today would definitely be a much better day than yesterday.

"So all good on your end?" Ino asked, and Sakura heard her rummaging through her fridge.

"About as well as yours." Sakura countered, taking two mugs from the dish rack on the counter.

"That good, eh? Well, congratulations to us. Oops, gotta go! Asuma-sensei asked for eggs. Later."

Sakura rolled her eyes, hanging up the phone. She turned to pick up the mugs, starting when Kakashi, clad only in his boxers, held out a full cup of coffee to her.

"Key trick, hm?" He said, though he was smirking.

"Key trick." Sakura confirmed, unable to keep the slightly haughty look off her face.

"You scheming little minx." Kakashi said, setting down his mug and wrapping his arms around Sakura's waist.

"Meh...I've been called worse." Sakura said with a wink, tipping her head up to look Kakashi in the eye.

"Well...all hail the inventor of the might key trick." Kakashi said in a gruff voice, closing the gap between his and Sakura's lips.

**Ah. I don't know that I'm entierly happy with this one, but there you are. Lyrics from My Thunder by Boys Like Girls. As ever, feedback is appreciated. **


End file.
